Confessions of the impertinent predilections of a sinner...

Yimmie is just very very sad, right now. Didn't get fantastic grades but, i can barely scrape by i guess. Its better, compared to last year's.

I don't know why but i had the stupidity to find out what he's been up to. I guess i'm just very hurt and sad now. He's not open, that's ywhy i guess its been the same old questions every night...

have you taken dinner? How was it?
how was your day?
-silence-
why are you so quiet?
what the hell is your problem?

I don't know... Guess this is what he does everynight after telling me good night and that he's going to bed soon. It doesn't matter anyway. He's just eager to watch those porn flicks again. I just feel utterly helpless, not because he's watching porn, but because he hides so much from me. I feel really tired, exhausted and devastated.

I feel that i'm being really unfair to my heart, myself. Not giving it what it has always wanted, and sacrificing it just to make others happy. I'd be happy to see him happy too, but, is he? ...

The poor heart is crying out for what it wants, is it so much to ask for?
I just wanted a good and decent boyfriend. I guess i was deceived by the computer geek, you. I don't know how long more can this heart can hold. I'm afraid... i'm so afraid......

I feel so helpless, i guess i'll feel better after crying this out now. I guess i will... Perhaps, i shouldn't be so narrow-minded. Yimmie's crying for help. After looking through everything, I think i'm addicted to porn. Fuckk. I'm addicted to porn.

Stop these tears from falling
Stop this heart from bleeding anymore; please baby. I beg you
You don't know how much it hurts, do you?.