Confessions of the impertinent predilections of a sinner...

Last weekend was a very different weekend for me. I don't know how i really feel because the outcome somehow dampened it. The big thing is that : I finally managed to treat myself with some justice and spoke a little of my heart out, and portrayed how i really felt. But, the heart to heart talk was brushed off twice, deliberately, sending my poor temple, shattered into smithereens. I thought he said heart-to-heart talks are always times he'd treasure most. or so, i thought,as far as i could remember. Perhaps he felt threathened? Maybe i was too harsh? Sigh, i feel like such a failure. A failure at being a girlfriend, whipped up an entire fiasco trying to love someone for who he really is, I can't even put my true feelings across to him (SIMPLY). I feel like shaking my self to my senses and asking myself :'WHAT THE ____ IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!' arrgh. Damn... I so hate myself.

These are the times when i finally learn that heart-to-heart talks are not the mushy stuff like:

I really love you baby...
No matter what, I'm forever by your side...
This relationship has made me a better person
I see my future, with us in it..
Etc, and the list goes on...

Controversial topic of the week: 'What your bf/gf doesn't know, wouldn't hurt him/her.'


If only i could start smoking now...