I was bathing and looked at my hands casually, and found that my veins are turning hideously blue-greenish, which totally freaked me out. My skin never seemed so translucent. I could see my veins all the way to my elbow.... and even through my palms. That blue-greenish color. Perhaps its the alcohol therapy's side effects. Sigh... ... Oh, and my pants slid even lower today and the Everlast watch never was so loose even when i strapped it through the tightest buckle. Looks like I'm losing some weight here. No appetite. But i promised Cowbit i'll eat more. I'll try :) Thanks for that surprise choco cake! Its really nice.
Its sundown again. Sheesh. I'm so afraid. I feel there's this impending fear of loneliness that will consume me slow and painfully. The vacuum,the void... I hate the letter 'V'.
Urgh... Now, no there's no one who can bring me home anymore. Michael Buble's 'Home' is on repeat mode tonight, as i cry silently to myself. My mother hasn't been of much help. In fact, she's adding to this phalanx of daggers customised to aim at my heart.
Tonight, the last tear will cascade gracefully down my warm cheeks as i fall asleep unconsciously, waking up to another meaningless day. The days have become nameless. It doesn't matter if its monday or friday or saturday,even. Its all the same now.
Thank you everyone, for your care, concern... :) Yimmie loves all of you. You know who you are! :)
I'm not the gal in your dreams...
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