Conviction

Till all these fucking become platitudinous and mundane, you may leave.
I can't wait.
---------------------------------------------
this crowd of thoughts is dizzying
picking a path betwixt and amongst the consumed
trying to stay sharp throughout the chains of act-and-reactions
so often estranged from this world,a mere curious observer,
capturing the essence of this other life from a standpoint in an alternate reality,
beyond the outskirts of them,of there.

the here and now includes my red and black backpack,
and this faded navy baseball cap. the sublime sun,
ink-stained brown pants, and a pair of black and white kickers on feet that flail in a mortal existence.

Confined to the boundaries of my skull,
I have never really been a part of here...
there has never been a now.

The crises looming, yet escaping the concern of the masses,
strips bare to my eye a humbling portrait of our planet,
the dust speck.

and it is in bewilderment, that I flounder over the subjectivity
of microscopic organisms and their position
in the human dominated hierarchy.

pondering sorrows

I was in the middle of lecture, barely into the first hour of the morning. A huge bout of tears rushed to the corners of my eyes. The nauseating feeling from a warm fuzz in my stomach, shot to my nose. I never fought my tears so hard, the urge to run home to cry was overwhelming.

"How can someone who claimed to love/really do love me so much, ever do something like that to me?"

I do not comprehend, yet enlightenment isn't what I'm seeking.

Its the comfort of sleeping soundly in someone arms again, that I'm seeking.
Let it be yours, as always.

One last cry.

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...

擦肩而過 - 李聖傑

What I'm feeling now: Nostalgic.

If only i knew...

What am I feeeling right now: Listless -.-
The song that's on repeat: 一个人生活 and 分手快樂.

If i'd known, we should've left off as friends or strangers who happened to cross paths that fateful night outside the bar, in the wee hours of dawn. Amongst the bustling crowd of party animals and useless drunkards.

I never knew I wasn't one of them, till we happened.

I guess we were just 2 people, in the wrong time, at the wrong place but with a divine purpose behind that wasn't strong enough carry us through.

;If only i knew you'd make my favourite accident...

i can only imagine.

Just to think about it, I would do things that I would regret (tryna get you to)
To understand how I felt for you
I tried real hard time and time again but I
Didn't know my love wouldn't grow, I shoulda just let it go
But I, stayed around thinkin you would learn to love

And we both knew, you're wrong
There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me
I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me
But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go
Shoulda let you go

Couldn't do without it, I felt I needed you in my world (to get me by, by)
More and more I looked out for you, tried to play me like a fool so I
Didn't care that love wasn't there, had to just let it go
Couldn't stay around, thinkin you would learn to love

And we both knew, you're wrong
There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me
I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me
But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go
Shoulda let you go

Amina
And now I'm gone, plus I'd rather be alone
We both grown, lower your tone over the phone, aight
I shoulda known this, damn I shoulda known
It wouldn't last long, when you didn't come home some nights
And now I'm on, in the zone, handle business on my own
So respect the queen on the throne, aight
Here's some strong advice, move on, that's life
You're wrong I'm right, and I gotta letcha go

And we both knew, you're wrong
There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me
I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me
But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go
Shoulda let you go

Don't know why you would ever lie to me so,
But I shoulda letcha
Don't know why I could never let you go
Coulda, Shoulda, Letcha
Don't know why...

I used to believe in love songs... ...

but now, they are mere fairytales and painted facades.

The melodies aren't the same anymore, the lyrics are senseless as a drunkard's jokes.

Or was it the process of what we did to 'love'?
We screwed it all.