And she never moved on...

HELLO LIFE. I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN A BIG PART OF ME.
BUT NOW,I'M TELLING YOU...

I'M BLOODY SICK OF YOU.

SO, FUCK OFF NOW, WOULD YOU?


yes, she loves to be plain naive...

sometimes
it takes months
to achieve
one carefree night.

but that single night
will inevitably change
the course of your relationship
for the rest of your life.

it only takes a few hours
within that night
and the wet concrete you've been dumping for months
solidifies into forever.

the company of a few fabulous ladies
is well worth the second hand smoke.

I enjoy their heads cause they're much like mine
and all the pictures of smiling faces
have become the landmarks that begin
this crew's sail through existence.

Beautiful. Indeed,life is...


Wandering this life
In search of more time
Forgetting to stop
Wasting our prime
It's possible to ignore
The fact that we must live
How important it is to love
The way that we should give
We watch the clock
The time sails on bye
A second, a minute, an hour
Searching for another try
We can not take it back
The moments that we loose
We should let them just be
With no reason to excuse

Time is simply time...
Life happens...

Fuck the hangover. Thank God i have trustworthy friends to drink with, and friends who have always been there for me who'd come running no matter when. I love them. I really do. Yes, they let me drink to my heart's content knowing the only end result is a pissed drunk andrea. Maybe they really feel the pain...I'm not too sure...

I can't remember much, about last night. Only know i puked a terrible lot. I hope i didn't do or say anything stupid. You can probably gauge what a bottle of chivas and XO can do to someone in an hour or so. Its terrible. My mind's in a spin,i cant even stand up without spinning in my cranium.


I hate the impulsive, stupid things you do... Andrea.



And walking out on you was another damned thing,so bad,i wished you never existed.

I really miss these times...



Self redemption? Perhaps.

Been bucking up on my studies. Hopefully the results will be good for the first test i took recently. :) Wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. Must have been paranoia and the fact that nobody really knew what to expect.
Polylife is not as easy as i thought it would be. But it just makes sense - the higher you climb, the tougher it gets.

Who has time to bother about little playhouse creatures who frolick in their own pool of hate?

All i asked for is sometime to sort my messed-up life out, where was the patience? Perhaps you didn't know what love is. And obviously still do not.

I know what I'm doing. I know I've been partying nights, drinking... I know i am destroying myself. Yes, that shows i do not love myself. But, i do not get myself into trouble. For example, if i ever get drunk,it will only happen at home. I do not follow any Tom, Dick or Harry whom i danced with, home. Don't point fingers till you look at yourself in the mirror.

Is drink-driving any better? I don't drive home you know. The trouble i MIGHT get into, the consequences i MIGHT face (which i haven't) , is probably less than half as bad as yours.

So, I don't love myself huh?
Sometimes, you need people in your life who doesn't suck up to you all the time.

I can't believe I can't convince myself about anything and everything.
I can't believe how difficult it is for me to put my foot down and get something right.
I can't believe how bad I have fared when it comes to being a friend. Just a friend.
I can't believe how bad I have fared, when it comes to being a girlfriend, a daughter, a owner (of my dogs)
I can't believe I've turned into someone I don't even know, anymore.

I can't believe that i AM delusional.
I can't believe how screwed up my life is right now.
I can't believe i have the power to resist drinking my nights away.

I feel like moving out. Its all getting on my nerves. I don't know what people want from me. I feel like moving out... out of this world. Can I?

You, and you and you... I'm pissed off. So I'm telling you. All these ends HERE.
Right here. You'll not hear from me, again. Perhaps, cos, I'm moving out. I'm moving out to live my own life. And you, you and you... will never get the piece of me that you've always wanted...or rather, I'll take back the fragments of myself that I've given out. And...... piece myself together again in my own solitude.


I have pictured the little girl in the corner long enough. with her worn out shoes and the dirt in her hair. I can almost feel myself crying for her. Lets give that little girl a break, please.

Andrea needs to stop partying and drinking too much...even though she has classes at 8am the next day.


Lest, the puking part. It just sucks

let go
and drift on

there need be no complications
preventing
conversation

I cannot help
how I delve into discussion
and plummet
always
to the depths
dragging with me
the listener
until they can no longer stand
the pressure of my thoughts
until I smother them
with idea
and drown them
in description

perhaps a mere moment
present in my mind
would send them into
anaphylactic shock
almost immediately

my blood
are my
constants

the rest
chosen companions
in conversational crimes

as history has shown
destiny
for me
has ordered up
a life of random occurrences

every day
I catch new eyes
share moments with strangers
through silence
and smiles

so...

I let go.
shove my hands in my pockets
and drift.