Thursday, October 30, 2008

Love is all.




Marc Anthony - Love Is All

When you hold me like this
So many memories fill my eyes
The first time we kissed
The times we nearly said goodbye
But, still, here we are
Tested and tried and still true
And stronger than we ever knew


Love is all
The laughter and the tears that fall
The mundane and the magical
Love is all
All is love
The careless word, the healing touch
The getting and the giving of
All is love

There's a me you've always known
The me that's a stranger still
The you that feels like home
And the you that never will
But, still, here we lie
Tender and trusting and true
With everything that we've been through

All the glory
All the pain
All the passion
That turns to ashes
Only to rise again




;love is the fact that someone has held your hand through it all and not let go.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

错误, its an understatement that i have to live with.



I don't beleve it
是我放弃了你
只为一个没有理由的决定
以为这次我可以承受你离我而去

不必让你伤心却刺痛自己
一个人走在傍晚七点的台北city
等着心痛就像黑夜一样的来临

i hate myself
又整夜追逐梦中的你
而明天只剩哭泣的心

怎么才能让我告诉你我不愿意
教彼此都在孤独里忍住伤心
我又怎么告诉你我还爱你
是我自己错误的决定

我要告诉你我不愿意
教彼此都在孤独里忍住伤心
我又怎么告诉你我还爱你
是我自己错误的决定.


;and i'm that unbelievable creature that makes understanding someone so challenging...

Friday, October 17, 2008

when words seem inadequate...

Here I am, slumped in the comfort of my room, huddled up on the cosy armchair that sits facing my desk. Fingers hovering above the keyboard, it was as if they had a mind of their own and were hesitant about getting down to typing. I call this feeling, a word clot. Word clots around the heart - clots that even Daflon would be put to shame.

Personally, I've always felt that word clots are far worse in comparison to blood clots. If I had a blood clot, things are much simpler - I'd probably die a slow, impetuated death as blood (which also happens to be the cause of the death) eventually stops travelling through my body and heart. Its funny when you stop and think. The same essential you need to run through your body to survive, is stopping you from living now. Irony, ain't it? In conjunction to that, what would happen then, when a word clot occurs?

We don't die - we all know that. But such subrtle, silent torment summons insurmountable surges of emotions that even death would seem inferior in any way possible.

Given the modern context of today's society, people grow up learning to feel less each day. Deep within my conflicting consciece, that would make me a mere infant - a concept of which i obviously cannot seem to accept nor swallow both factually and fictionally. As these thoughts continued running incessantly through my cranium, i realised that there are too many factors attributed to the loss of reality and what it meant. Gradually, my perception of the world started to fall apart and everything doesnt seem to make sense anymore. Nothing. Perhaps this explains the recession and market crashes - the world's building blocks and pillars of strength shaken. Realisation, admittance and change is what we neeed. Humanity and the world never was about monogamy even before Eve was created for Adam. I could go on almost forever about this incoherent place we live in and the emotional roller coasters it offered and still has, in abundance.

My dearest sister,
you know, you never fail to throw me word clots. This isn't a public complain but i want you to know that whenever something happens, its not because i have nothing to say or that i cannot be bothered. Word clots happened, and always do. I don't want to put you down and pin you to the ground with mud in your face because it really isn't my job, i felt. Nor do i want to raise you up and allow you to succumb to fallacies. I care, in a different gesture your/my parents do. Suppression isn't a solution for me, its a way out. I do not want to run away. At the back of my head, it sends a subtle fear sluicing up from my spine, a creeper in a snake-like motion. As much as i want you to know that i am not running away, please, running away from reality really isn't a solution. Reality is harsh, but its a phase in life that just gets tougher than you think it seems. When you reach the corners , you'll have to turn around, hang your head low and come crawling back the same way you ran away from... Its only gonna make things worse.

;life is but a destination you set for yourself.