Friday, February 29, 2008
chasing dreams
its like you finally wake up one day, open the door, and sunlight just hits you so hard in the eyes that you are literally taken aback. Then, a warm feeling in your tummy that rises to your head almost instantly that tells you - today, IS a good day. And from that minute on, you know how and what what life really means to you. As you look upon the shimmering morning dew drops that litter the grasslands, as you watch the incandescent peeping sunrays over the horizon setting the treetops ablaze, as you uncover the mysteries of life you never thought about.
It has always been there, like how God is. But somehow we are caught up with our own pride and perceptions too often, we neglect the mere facts of life. We forget the simplicity of it all.
To me, life is a pattern - A pattern no matter what we do or relate to. Many do not realise that we can learn from every mistake we make. That we realise our strength only after we overcome a what seemed unreasonably difficult hurdle. Or that sometimes, certain decisions in life are actually realisations-lived-out. I do not know how else to explain myself due to my limited range of vocabulary. However, i could elaborate if we meet in australia - melbourne. Then we'll talk over tea ;)
;and for the first time, i'm chasing my dreams so closely.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Rainy...
Jolted out of bed. Its pouring heavily outside. I guess my time has come.
2 choices - run and hide, or face it boldly and overcome the hurdle with courage.
Slumped in the tiny corner of my cosy room, here I am, watching raindrops pelt on my window pane relentlessly. My mind, whitewashed - a total contrast to the dark rainy night I am staring into. I am wishing so much for someone to tell me what to do. Right or wrong, isn't my connundrum anymore. Its become the choosing of paths that matters, and whatever bumps that lies ahead in whichever choice I decide upon.
Whichever is more scabrous, we don't know. But we can be definite that life is never a bed of roses and it is how we go about these hard stuff in life.
Ok,my decision is settled upon.
;i think its time i left God another text message.
2 choices - run and hide, or face it boldly and overcome the hurdle with courage.
Slumped in the tiny corner of my cosy room, here I am, watching raindrops pelt on my window pane relentlessly. My mind, whitewashed - a total contrast to the dark rainy night I am staring into. I am wishing so much for someone to tell me what to do. Right or wrong, isn't my connundrum anymore. Its become the choosing of paths that matters, and whatever bumps that lies ahead in whichever choice I decide upon.
Whichever is more scabrous, we don't know. But we can be definite that life is never a bed of roses and it is how we go about these hard stuff in life.
Ok,my decision is settled upon.
;i think its time i left God another text message.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Shopping, late dinners and the clubs
Lime and Barley =)
Its such a pity that my usb bluetooth adaptor mysteriously disappeared. If not for that, i'd be posting more awesome pictures from my phone. Haha. Anyhoos,
good morning. I just woke up.
Damn, some kind of lifestyle I'm living man. Time to do some tuning to my bio-clock. I hope circumstances would allow me so.
On the other side, I am gonna play tennis for club. =s I have no idea how its gonna turn out... ... Haah!
Seasons are changing,And waves are crashing,And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,I can show you I'll be the one
Its such a pity that my usb bluetooth adaptor mysteriously disappeared. If not for that, i'd be posting more awesome pictures from my phone. Haha. Anyhoos,
good morning. I just woke up.
Damn, some kind of lifestyle I'm living man. Time to do some tuning to my bio-clock. I hope circumstances would allow me so.
On the other side, I am gonna play tennis for club. =s I have no idea how its gonna turn out... ... Haah!
Seasons are changing,And waves are crashing,And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,I can show you I'll be the one
Thursday, February 21, 2008
分手快樂 - 梁靜茹
我无法帮你预言
委曲求全有没有用
可是我多么不舍
朋友爱的那么苦痛
爱可以不问对错
至少有喜悦感动
如果他总为别人撑伞
你何苦非为他等在雨中
泡咖啡让你暖手
想挡挡你心口里的风
你却想上街走走
吹吹冷风会清醒的多
你说你不怕分手
只有点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了
剩自己一个
其实爱对了人
情人节每天都过
分手快乐 祝你快乐
你可以找到更好的
不想过冬 厌倦沉重
就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐 请你快乐
挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱 像坐慢车
看透彻了心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收
你发誓你会活的有笑容
(你自信时候真的美多了)
委曲求全有没有用
可是我多么不舍
朋友爱的那么苦痛
爱可以不问对错
至少有喜悦感动
如果他总为别人撑伞
你何苦非为他等在雨中
泡咖啡让你暖手
想挡挡你心口里的风
你却想上街走走
吹吹冷风会清醒的多
你说你不怕分手
只有点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了
剩自己一个
其实爱对了人
情人节每天都过
分手快乐 祝你快乐
你可以找到更好的
不想过冬 厌倦沉重
就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐 请你快乐
挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱 像坐慢车
看透彻了心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收
你发誓你会活的有笑容
(你自信时候真的美多了)
我不配- Jay chou
这街上太拥挤
太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去
你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里
这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋
还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去
这感觉已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协
是我忽略 你不过要人陪
这感觉已经不对
我最后才了解
一页页不忍翻阅的情节你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配
我已经不对
我努力挽回
分手我忽略后要人陪
这感觉已经不对
最后才了解
oh多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配
太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去
你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里
这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋
还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去
这感觉已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协
是我忽略 你不过要人陪
这感觉已经不对
我最后才了解
一页页不忍翻阅的情节你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配
我已经不对
我努力挽回
分手我忽略后要人陪
这感觉已经不对
最后才了解
oh多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thank you, Jaedon.
Thank you for the 4 months of:
joy
laughter
sunshine
frustrations
nonsense
love
mischief
companion
whimpers for attention
jumping up and down excitedly when i come home
making me all drenched during your bath
shooting off and then running back to me again
playing tackle with me
lying on my lap when you're in the car
falling asleep in the car after a day at the beach
Though 4 months is not that long a period of time, but I'm missing you so badly. There will never be a day that goes by without me wishing that you'll come running back home to me again. I love you. the 3 most powerful words i ever knew.
;now its like cutting me open and i just keep bleeding love.till is all gone, it hurts sometimes when i think about it.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Finally, picture update!
I can't believe it. I still miss Jaedon so fucking much. That also explains the relentless raging of emotional turmoil in me although its been a month since his escapade.
His first squeaky toy.
He's happy cos he loves my room - forbidden zone.
Standard husky pose. =P
Protecting his new toy.
Hope and prayers are all I've got for now, i guess.
Sabah Pictures! As you can see, I played nanny. But it turned out a common assumption by others, as my KID. GOODNESS. I think i really AM getting old. :( Not good.
going back to the main island
chilling by the beach having drinks :)
on our way back with little miss sticky =D
playing nanny, again.heh
cutie pie and me!
White water rafting level 2- completed!
All set to return home
My bloods, my loves =)
His first squeaky toy.
He's happy cos he loves my room - forbidden zone.
Standard husky pose. =P
Protecting his new toy.
Hope and prayers are all I've got for now, i guess.
Sabah Pictures! As you can see, I played nanny. But it turned out a common assumption by others, as my KID. GOODNESS. I think i really AM getting old. :( Not good.
going back to the main island
chilling by the beach having drinks :)
on our way back with little miss sticky =D
playing nanny, again.heh
cutie pie and me!
White water rafting level 2- completed!
All set to return home
My bloods, my loves =)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Post Chinese new year
Ok,its officially 0621 as I start blogging and I'm hungry although I had supper just a couple of hours back. A ridiculous appetite for someone who's intending to loose weight. Pffft.
So, chinese new year wasn't fantastic. Its wierd how the festive mood deteriorates as you get older, only for the chinese new year. Now i finally start to realise why most of the older generation are not enthusiastic about the occasion the least bit. They just turn up for the sake of showing their face to complete the huge round tables like an unfinished jig-saw puzzle that is only pieced together once a year.
Believe it or not. Yours truly, ended up having quite a string of bumper holidays-drinking and partying. It all started a few days before the chinese new year.
Clowns. Outside Access Room @ Boat Quay at about 5am I think.
The lost little boy whom I still cant get over.
One of the most enriching periods in my life. Camps. This is Aji.
Motivational insights from Daddy and mummy - thats what they called us, trainers. LOL. I look wierd!
Memories. Memories, good or bad, are memories because they are the nuts and bolts that hold us together as an individual. Only because we owe it all to that for who we are today. Not entirely, of course, but a good part of it. The other would be our ability to discern reality from past. Thus when we are able to do that, we'd utilise the fact that we have a past to learn from, to move forward in life.
Somehow, as much as I am clear headed about my responsibilities and duties, I feel as if I'm going through a transition stage. A transition that I've been caught in, never to leap out of. A transition where everything happens in cycles. Vicious cycles that would probably kill me even sooner than i knew it happened. Do I luxuriate in the way things are? If not, then why am I stuck in it?
Its a venus fly trap kind of transition, i feel.
It be greatly appreciated if one could render my predicament as to why its happening. Perhaps, its normal.
On a lighter note, I MISS SABAH. And i'm very definite I'm going BACK. =D
A perfect place where i spent the last few days of the year 2007 -relaxing, reflecting and indulging. Here are some peeks into my getaway:
My room,with an HUGE attached bathroom and seaview!
First day, getting ready to go out for dinner. Sis and I.
This is the apartment we stayed in. Sunset shot. Awesome seafront location.
The view from my balcony. =)
Halfway up Mt Kinabalu. not my kid holding my had, its my godcousin, Kiara. =D
Little things that make little ones contented-ice cream!
Happy siblings caught on candid!
Dinner at Little Italy - Uncle's Fabulous restaurant.
We had alot of fun cos we were bored =p
only two days worth of pics. I'll get the rest of the white water rafting and beach outing pics from the brother. Meanwhile, you guys take care.
I wish i could keep bleeding love, cos i dont mind dying that way.
So, chinese new year wasn't fantastic. Its wierd how the festive mood deteriorates as you get older, only for the chinese new year. Now i finally start to realise why most of the older generation are not enthusiastic about the occasion the least bit. They just turn up for the sake of showing their face to complete the huge round tables like an unfinished jig-saw puzzle that is only pieced together once a year.
Believe it or not. Yours truly, ended up having quite a string of bumper holidays-drinking and partying. It all started a few days before the chinese new year.
Clowns. Outside Access Room @ Boat Quay at about 5am I think.
The lost little boy whom I still cant get over.
One of the most enriching periods in my life. Camps. This is Aji.
Motivational insights from Daddy and mummy - thats what they called us, trainers. LOL. I look wierd!
Memories. Memories, good or bad, are memories because they are the nuts and bolts that hold us together as an individual. Only because we owe it all to that for who we are today. Not entirely, of course, but a good part of it. The other would be our ability to discern reality from past. Thus when we are able to do that, we'd utilise the fact that we have a past to learn from, to move forward in life.
Somehow, as much as I am clear headed about my responsibilities and duties, I feel as if I'm going through a transition stage. A transition that I've been caught in, never to leap out of. A transition where everything happens in cycles. Vicious cycles that would probably kill me even sooner than i knew it happened. Do I luxuriate in the way things are? If not, then why am I stuck in it?
Its a venus fly trap kind of transition, i feel.
It be greatly appreciated if one could render my predicament as to why its happening. Perhaps, its normal.
On a lighter note, I MISS SABAH. And i'm very definite I'm going BACK. =D
A perfect place where i spent the last few days of the year 2007 -relaxing, reflecting and indulging. Here are some peeks into my getaway:
My room,with an HUGE attached bathroom and seaview!
First day, getting ready to go out for dinner. Sis and I.
This is the apartment we stayed in. Sunset shot. Awesome seafront location.
The view from my balcony. =)
Halfway up Mt Kinabalu. not my kid holding my had, its my godcousin, Kiara. =D
Little things that make little ones contented-ice cream!
Happy siblings caught on candid!
Dinner at Little Italy - Uncle's Fabulous restaurant.
We had alot of fun cos we were bored =p
only two days worth of pics. I'll get the rest of the white water rafting and beach outing pics from the brother. Meanwhile, you guys take care.
I wish i could keep bleeding love, cos i dont mind dying that way.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Wait for you - Elliot Yamin
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door ooooo
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
[Bridge]
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
[Verse 2]
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.
[Bridge]
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough
[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
[Bridge]
So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do
[Chorus]
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
I'll Be Waiting.
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door ooooo
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
[Bridge]
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
[Verse 2]
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.
[Bridge]
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough
[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
[Bridge]
So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do
[Chorus]
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
I'll Be Waiting.
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