Faith is on the edge of all that we can ever know. The tension between the known and the unknown creates the playing field for scientific inquiry. The faithful tease the ardent free thinkers like an older sibling teases his or her younger sibling -- instilling a fierce form of competition and determinacy to prove the 'superior' wrong. In many ways religion and science are like siblings cut from the same cloth. Neither realize the significance of the other until they reach an age of maturity.

This is where I think the state of faith vs. scientific inquiry are at this point in history. The human airwaves are choking on dead end debates on religion vs. science. If both issues were on the same end of the court, the ball would not be reciprocated thus the game would be nonexistent. Both are key to the 'ultimate' explanation or what many scientists call the Theory of Everything. One can by no means supersede the other as more valid. Since faith depends more on the human imagination, it can be more manipulative towards dispelling facts of science. Perhaps we should re title the rivalry "tangibilities vs. intangibilities"?

one you can sense. the other you cannot. when was the last time you based a decision on something you couldn't sense? when was the last time you based a decision on something you could sense? the fact that intangibilities exist in the first place is a miracle. intangibilities exist to be discovered. just take this allegory: when we are first born, we may be already equipped to sense our surroundings but whether we do or not is dependent on our biological mental and physical development. the human infant is very aware of its surroundings even though it cannot directly perceive them.

being one human with eyes that can see is not the same as being humanity with eyes that cannot yet peer into the vast entireties of the universe and look God in the eyes. the human race can still be considered in its infancy. but like any young thing, it is instinctual for us to want to grow up far to fast and experience this exciting thing we call consciousnesses. we'll see when we are ready to see. not when we see fit.

the twilight,
was swallowed
by
dawn


my heart awoke
and yawned its first breath


my ear still pressed
against the cold surface,

i could hear the water of winter
neath me
swishing
like the blood through
the veins of a helpless prey
tight in the jaws of his successor

my heart wriggled
out of the grip
of Despair

and slithered
inconspicuously
towards shore

careful as not to break
the ice
which supported
my existence

careful as not to break
the existence
which supports
all that we falter in

Very often, we think.
But the impulsive actions that follows, KILLS.

;you get my hint...

...and i began to wonder,perhaps beginnings were meant to be endings in disguise.


when I can see thoughts
so gently
falling from your eyes

I try to save them
one by one
we tried to gather them
together

but they fell into the
sea of yesterday
before you took your bow
and stumbled off.



you can own
landscapes in my mind
snapshots of existence;
mental real estate

along a lake
aside the river
neath the bridge

all dimly lit
touched by twilight
your minds eye
peers so deeply into mine

tonight,
beneath the stars,
we were travelers
now,

we are just wanderers
where time is just a figment
of a disproportioned world.



echoes of my imagination
I wish they would bounce into oblivion

I am the transcendent soul felt through the flesh.
I am the continuance of touch in a gaze.
I am the danger of soaking up too much sun.
I am the amorphous passage of time

I am the surrender of imagination ceaselessly to wonder.
I am.



This is a strange and fucked up feeling. Calm and smooth, cold and collected like water still as a pain of glass. This feeling is something perpetual, sustaining and sublime. In words exchanged it takes a form something solid yet faded. Blurred around the edges, unknown but understood. Never truly whole, a broken vision of something you know so well… someone you know so well. Never well enough.

In a world filled with deaf ears where cries of anger and pain fall silent and whispers are never heard I hear you. I can see you, hear you, and if you’d let me I’d reach out to touch you… What a blessing this is this silence, so that your voice may travel uninterrupted and your thoughts and stories may flow from those thin red lips you’ve stretched to this most impressive smirk. This is something I’d always felt and never seen, embodied only in your heart as I hear it from you for the first and the millionth time. As you speak and I reply this conversation grows and perpetuates itself. And, no longer still, the water has been rippled. The movement has begun with just one tiny drop into the center of this pool and it grows into a torrent, like the wings of a butterfly cuing a tsunami a world away. A whirlpool spinning out of control leading into blackness the deepness of my soul. Then from this rocky bank I am cast to drown within my travels. As this water drags me towards suffocation I know only that I am not going to die. I know I will not die. I will surface from this water, lungs aching, on the other side. Cold and wet, I know this journey will not kill me. I will be left beaten, bruised, scarred and disfigured until I am nothing like what I used to be. I can see you on the bank as you shake your head and smile.

“May we be lucky enough to see each other find happiness."

This whirlpool drops me on my knees on dry land, and I make my way through the darkness that is un-discovered.

Because it took so long to find my way again.
Only to realise...perhaps not,afterall.

how freaking hot. I like =)
woots!

magnifique...

Portentous


all too often
what I imagine
will materialize.

it is dangerous
when such a curious girl
dares to dream drastically
and mentally toys with matters
made of glass.

so often seen as perplexed
running scenarios through her head
she can only softly smile,
and say, with a chuckle,
how daft
such delusions.

only to lift her head
and watch with wide eyes
as the entire reverie
plays out
with an alarming amount
of attention to detail

am I a prophetess
visualizing
holy moments to come
or am I the author
creating the storyline
prior to actualization?

and what control does one
really have
when destiny is determined
merely by fancy
with no regard
to how irrational
and fleeting
such intangible thoughts may be?

how dangerous
to play
with fantasy.

by the time you question the impossibilities...
it has already begun.

Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody whatcha here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come on jump around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me!


Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall real hard in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!


And when she walks, she walks with passion
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it
when she asks for something, boy, she means it
even if you never ever seen it
everybody get your necks to crack around
all you crazy people come on jump around
you doing anything to keep her by your side
because she said she love you, love you long time!


Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall real hard in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!


Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall real hard in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!

NO!
Never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!


She's a man eater
A maneater
She's a man eater
A maneater
She's a man eater
A maneater

how cool... =)

What your loved ones doesn't know, wouldn't hurt them.

fantastic job well done.i'm convinced and i'm speechless. happy now, ain't ya. you win me, hands down.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

'I...was trying to avoid disappointment. The disappointment that was naturally born to expectations'

Thursday, August 16, 2007 - 1:07pm

It doesn't have to take just one person to make you think that your existence in the world today, is fucked upside-down.
Its foolish.
You just need the right people.

;and its not worth it.

I'll play this game with you, then.

just you and me.

I feel so fucked, seriously.

Maybe cos' I'm the fucked up one.


youknowwhat?I'mtired. So...whatever

I realised i've been missing out on posting lately. I guess there's just too much that happened and is still happening,for me to pen down everytime i manage to steal time for the cyberworld.

YES, its the big ole exams. SUCKS.

Well, I was just an inch away from refusing to sit for my papers. I shall not go into that...Cos' then, I'll probably take forever in front of this silly screen.
Maybe I'm just telling myself its tough.
So, i should convince myself its not too difficult and I'll get by.


I was engrossed by my usual random musings one balmy afternoon, only to stumble upon the reason of my warped disposition. We, humans, in general, hate disappointment and failure. We scorn at the slightest thought of it happening to us - our worst nightmare. Thus, we look way ahead, trying to vaticinate all the possibilities of such atrophy. Last but not least, we eliminate all digressions - negligible or convictive.

Relating back to my predicament, I was inducing the idea of the ardousness of it all - only leaving myself exasperated and controversial within. I... was trying to avoid disappointment. The disappointment that was naturally born to expectations. When we all piece this entire vicious cycle together, we see a domino effect of adverse events that none of us had intended calling for.

IF ONLY, we would sit back and inhale deeply for a while... just, for a while. Spare 15-30 minutes just letting the mind unwind and rest in His peacefulness. And I did.

Hideous thoughts were flashing through my mind incessantly. Fear gripped me as i stared blankly into thin air. They wouldn't stop. They revoled in circles around my head like a derailed locomotive that wouldn't stop till it crashed. I could almost hear my silent screams of infidelities in my cranium - the inaudible harangue. Cold sweat trickled down my temples sending an electrifying sensation through my body. I shuddered. Shaken to my senses, I heaved a heavy-spirited sigh. It was the mind playing tricks again.

I stood up slowly from my slumped position as I straightened my back. Trudging down the stairs, I fixed my stare on the feet as my head hung low. Such mental drudgery only a Prisoner-Of-War would physically flounder upon.

I thought to myself such delusion would have to retire or I would be building my life ahead on the foundations of oppression and languid. Like a piece of land that once , had the potential to cultivate bustling lush greenery and withold an explosion of vivacious colors ... but chose to deteriorate into an undulating, barren piece of derelict dirt.

'Its all about choices' I almost mumbled to myself silently.

Picking myself up, I quickened my pace into the cottage-styled kitchen, made myself a cup of hot camomile tea, and inhaled deeply between small sips. I could almost feel myself reeling back into the past as if i was causuled in a time-machine zooming through time. The only difference was: things that mattered too much then, no longer existed as a perplexity.

Slowly and steadily, I began colouring my world again. Like how a rucksack made into canvas, I painted the masterpiece of my life, unreserved of the acrylics on my palatte. And i never regretted, ever since...

Indeed, I have fallen short of Your grace, that I am simply imperfect.>

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,


And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.



Chris Daughtry Home Lyrics

There was nothing to say
The day she left
Just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I hailed a taxi in the rain
Looking for someplace to ease the pain

Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found you there
You really know where to start
Fixing my broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart

Now I don't understand what I'm going through
There must be a plan that lead me to you
Because the hurt just disappears
In every moment that you are near

Just like an answered prayer
You made the loneliness easy to bear

You really know where to start
Fixing my broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart

Soon the rain will stop falling baby
And I'll forget the past
Cause here we are at last

You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart

Fixing a broken heart

FUCK YOU, UNDERSTAND.

and this is where the story ends...

Hey you.
Its funny how you could bring one, self-inflicted emotional abuse.
Its funny how she still hung on. Tight.
Its funny how you could carry on pretending everything was alright.
Its funny how she could carry on pretending everything was alright.
Its funny how she belived your story. About the leopard.
About the Leopard who would turn into an Alsation, by the intensity of your love.
Its funny how you tried to convince her.
Its funny how she wondered if you even bothered convincing yourself.
Its funny how she trusted that the leopard really turned into an alsation.
Its funny how she enjoyed that miracle of love you portrayed.
Its funny how she cries even when she thinks of it, right now, even when you're gone.
Its funny how she doesn't know it still matters, and it still hurts.
Its funny how she beats herself everynight about being happy. and all the pretence.
Its funny how strong she is, only because she thinks she is.
Its funny how the tears still well up.
You. You might even be thinking... its funny how stupid she is.
Its funny how she still believes in you.
Its funny how you never learn, how you threw it all away.
Its not funny when she doesn't understand how the two years went by.
Its devastating. When she realises, perhaps, it wasn't love.

So this is how the story ends. Remember what the little girl once told you about her stories she wrote when the teacher told her to. Happy endings are ever reality. Heaven's playing games, when it all falls apart.


The story of that girl you never understood, and never will.
Don't bother.

I thought we could make love out of nothing at all. But you made the runner stumble...