Confessions of the impertinent predilections of a sinner...

I smsed him as usual, after work. No reply. Called, and there was no answer. Twice, and that's it. I gave up. The more i call, the more irritated he'll feel. I guess i have to learn to live, trusting blindly. Such a fool, i am. I'm struggling not to let anything psycho me. After all, it should be another of my possessive-natured misunderstandings again.

Is this what you call, 'loving AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE' ? I guess i could still afford to do that. I can.

I know what i've done wrong. There was almost the second time, but i didn't let it happen. I almost did, but i thought of it, how you'd feel.... i'd give that up. And i gave it up. Happily, willingly. Guess he's found someone better. I don't do too well at being a gf i guess. Perhaps, this is another experience...and we get better at it, learning from experiences....the past. Experiences meaning, its behind me already. I just don't want it to be a past...a by-gone. I want it to last. Is it so difficult?
Yea, its difficult to love someone who's ugly. I know.

I 'm superficial too. I understand. Its okay.

I 've got nothing left to say.You took everythingl away...I hate myself.

Fuckk...