Confessions of the impertinent predilections of a sinner...

Hello, looking at this teddy bear, it reminds me of MYSELF! I'm not that cute though - how unfortunate. :(

Was just spending some quiet time after bath, thinking in the calm serenity of temporary self-isolation. See, this little bear has been hurt and wounded. It has tried to patch up the sustained wounds on its own, painstakingly. However hard it tried, the mends seemed utterly inadequate. Little teddy bear carries a sack on its shoulders. A bag of the past. All the hurts, all the pain, all bagged into one. A heavy burden... Not forgetting little brown bear's belongings in that same rucksack. Somehow, little bear is rather convinced that it is intrinsically nomadic. Nobody's bear. Don't scold little teddy bear for all these hurts on her. She never wanted to be messed up. Little teddy bear couldn't handle the complications and needs that surfaced in her life, prematurely. She is emotionally and mentally unprepared. Just like any other little teddy bear. Don't be angry with her.

If you ever see little teddy bear, please tell her you love her and God loves her even more. Give her a pat of encouragement on her back, it'll mean alot to her as the road down that path doesn't seem any easier.

Met Yvonne today. Her first reaction was
"You look like a zombie! All i can see in your eyes are two words - SICK AND TIRED."
I smiled weakly and remained quiet. Our conversation continued as i tried to hold my tears back occasionally. She told me that she'll not talk about the issues anymore as i'm easily affected by it. Session lasted about 45 mins and we decided to call it a day. But she said my emotional situation was bad so she'll be seeing me on Monday again. Something's wrong with me? Maybe I've been trying too hard to numb myself, in order to concentrate better on my studies.

She told me not to be too hard on myself for O's cos, its perfectly understandable if i don't do as well as i've expected. Yimmie's underachieving... Sometimes, i wished i didn't put so much of myself into this relationship. If only i knew he was on the rebound. Then again, the blind 'me' didn't take that into consideration. Nevermind, little teddy pushes on... ... she still believes in love, and him, even more.

Little teddy bear...all on its own. Nobody knows her,just Yvonne.


Emotional fluctuation.Taken on a fatal roller coaster ride. Down to hell and back again.