Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Spinning in a heart's whirlpool of emotions

LOCKED - as the clock strikes 12 tonight.


Emotional Turmoil - says it all and says it best. No other words coupled together could possibly verbalize this inaudible harangue in me.

I can practically feel an ugly ogre incubating in me, growing and waiting for that disinct moment to manifest and detonate into a mushroom cloud of nuclear energy.
Seriously, who are you to deserve such ardently profound feelings of mine.

Maybe you used to feel more.
maybe you used to love me more,
maybe you're tired of me,
maybe you think I'm still giving
you all that nonsense that i used to throw your way
maybe you've finally realised i'm not that worth it after all,
maybe i'm just not that fantastic afterall.

Maybe things took a turn after he came into the picture.
Maybe you didnt mean it that very night, before i walked home,
that you'd still love me no less.
Maybe cos i still expect you to be that guy i knew from the very beginning.
Maybe im asking for something that's non-existent already.
Maybe, there's no turning back anymore. for you. and me.

The tears i shed for you that never seems to stop every night when you're not with me. I've finally found the reason behind all the catastrophe-weathered mental state of mine.

;i cry, for i've lost you already. and as it continues everynight, the anguish never ceases. never.












And ... "I Miss You"

Gimme a reason
Why I'm feeling so blue
Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is you
Gimme a reason
Why I can't feel my heart
Everytime you leave my side, I just fall apart

And when you're fast asleep, I wonder where you go
Can you tell me, I wanna know

Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't need to carry on

Gimme a reason
Why I can't concentrate
The world is turning upside down
Spinning round and round
Gimme a reason
Why I now understand
The beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me

You got a way of spreading magic everywhere
Anywhere I go, I know you're always there
It sounds ridiculous, but when you leave a room
There's a part of me that just wants to follow you too

Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't need to carry on

It's such a hard life in most of the time
I'm just surviving
That's why I want you to know
In the world where sincerity has lost its meaning
You fill my world with so much hope


And I miss you
This is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't need to carry on

You know I miss you
And this all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all

1 comment:

Jun said...

When there is love, there is also pain.

Sometimes in life, we come to a fork road, where we have to make decisions, in the hope of a better future. In our minds, we often already know the answer, but it is the duty of our hearts to tell us otherwise.

And though there is some sense of comfort in knowing the routine chronic pain that can possibly be inflicted, though there is a fear of stepping into the unknown, or the fear of losing more than we expected to, just take a step back and keep this in mind -
for any iota of hurt that you will yourself to go through, there are a great many more of us that would do anything to get you out of.

Akin to an illness, albeit of a metaphorical heart, you need to choose if you would risk the operation, knowing that even if the odds of survival are not always stacked in your favour, there is still time and opportunities for a brighter, healthier future.

"There is another sky,
Ever serene and fair,
And there is another sunshine,
Though it be darkness there;
Never mind faded forests, Andrea,
Never mind silent fields -
there is a little forest,
Whose leaf is ever green...."

-Excerpts from Emily Dickinson, 'There is another sky', with minor tweaking ;)