overwhelming torrents behind a paper masquerade;

Could it be the world's gone colder? Or maybe, I'm just a losing soul - just me and no one else.

The more I try it just gets harder and my pain is getting old. No remedy seems to countermeasure this travail that's way too familiar - like an old friend that could convince me that some things could possibly be too close for comfort, that it is being compromised subconsciously.

Somebody said that nothing lasts forever. 'Its just the storm' so I've been told. But not one has promised that it'd stop, for me. And it seems that when it rains it pours, mercilessly. Perhaps I'm beginning to revel in these unwinding moments, hugging my knees, face my back upon the enitre melancholic despondence.

As i began the transposition, all it presented was a whitewashed blank. Nothing. Not even a tiny speck of dust that marred it. I shrugged in dismay, dejected and weary. As i hung my head low, nurse the wounds that resurfaced yet again. I startled upon the sight of the tool in my hands, barely gripping it feebly - a paintbrush and a palatte with multidudes of shades and tonal pastels.

We turn out backs on something, not to brood and bring upon misery and self-inflicted torture. But we do that sometimes to remind ourselves that we still have a paintbrush and a wonderfully gifted palatte of colours to make a difference in our own lives.

And you know the rain won't last forever
And you know the storm won't always flow
But if the sun don't shine forever
You gotta let it go

Sometimes it gets so heavy, and it seems too hard to bear.
Sometimes I feel so empty and it feels like no one's there.
Somebody said that nothing lasts forever.
Its 'just the storm' so I've been told.
But it seems that when it rains it pours.

I hate to think that this is escapism. But unfortunately, it already is, in itself. Sometimes, at night, i'd lay in bed staring at whatever's in front of me, wondering what you really what from me that I've fallen short of. Too many shortcomings that i can name for you, baby. As tears welled up in my eyes, i wished my vision was that blur all the time, sometimes. Like i wished i never could see you, maybe cos i never did and never will be able to.

;forgive me if i were to call at 3 in the morning and wondered what went wrong with me.

-dedicated to the BF,leong.