Confessions of the impertinent predilections of a sinner...

I've been wondering for the past entire year - why am i studying chem process technology. Then it came to a sudden realisation that i should be studying something i am interested in, and not something that im told is good and that i should do it. This came a little slow but i hope its not too late.

After that Sabah trip, it allowed me to sit back and think while i was at the beautiful beach under the warm sun as i indulged in the cool breeze against my face relentlessly.
In a nutshell - reclining from the emotional harangue that was driving me insane.

Now that im back, its worse.

There are no more show white wavefronts that plummet into the shores.
There are no more waves that are strong enough to caress the fine sand so slowly and carefully, its beauty that can never be substituted.
There are no more rocks that overlook the cascadng orange hue of the evening sun over the horizon as it gradually descends.
There are no more coral-littered beaches for me to stroll along aimlessly.
There is no more toasting in the sun without feeling the slightest scorch from the calefaction.

Now, i'm hurled back into the shadowy wilderness where light never exsisted. As nightfall persists per diem, i continue to fumble through foliage and debris in the vile obscurity. As time passes, my skepticism grows together with it. The conundrum continues spinning in my cranium as i drag my wounded, encrusted feet on the damp bed of fallen leaf litter bed. My decriept body, now a burden. My paradoxical dilemna to stay put or strive on to find a way out. I long to see the resplendent glow of the sun again. The lustrous shimmer off the dew across the fields every morning unfailing. The incandescence of the peeping sun to setting treetops ablaze fromt the gentle luminiscent rays. I dream often, to feed my sanity...

Now, my urge to continue my studies, my concern for my future is my priority. And it shall be the motivation that welcomes the new year.

ALmost indisputable,
the impetus of the coming year. A stimulus for my ambition.

walk with me, will you?