Confessions of the impertinent predilections of a sinner...

I shut my eyes forcefully,with brows knitted closely,hoping that my inccessant self-persuasion to sleep would work. The mind defied in direct retaliation. After lying in bed for some 2 hours or so, i jolted out of bed, submitting myself to the nagging voice of conscience within - I should study,instead.

Under the dim orange hue of my bedside lamp, I squinted at my watch. It read 02:13. despite the fact that it was way past my bedtime, I didn't feel the slightest hint of lethargy.

Vaguely, i made my way to the toilet. After an episode of splashing icy cold water on my face, I was all freshened up. Throwing my hair back,the remaining droplets trickled down my face casually. I looked up and my eyes met hers, automatically.

Her facial features had an uncanny semblance that somehow emulated mine. I gazed intently into her bloodshot eyes as she stared back, listlessly. A weary expression hung blatantly on her face. Mildly taken aback, i didn't dare to acknowledge that 'her' whom i was looking at, in the mirror. My face twitched as i gasped in disgust.

'She' had dark circles that betrayed the endless sleepless nights. The dry and creased complexion spoke of every burden she'd bore. It seemed almost impossible to see her smile - smile like she really meant it. I fixed my stare, trying to grasp a better understanding of her through that little window - her eyes.

My efforts were futile as my eyebrows remained creased. I shuffled out with much alacrity, closing the door behind me quietly. Slumped into my chair, i stared into thin air, feeling so so lost...

So numb. It was as good as forgetting who i really was. Like a phoney.I wished i could just disappear from the world, in that split second. Take leave, out of this world, silently and peacefully. Unoticed.

I would smile...when world stops revolving - At the very moment when the incandescent premature sun rays peep over the horizon, over the picturesque mountains. When the humdrum monotony of the insipid night slowly ebbs as i careen down a long windy road overlooking the enitre 'switch-over' of dominance in my world. Only then, when the golden tinge of warmth spill over the treetops and set grassy meadows ablaze, as the morning dew twinkles like sparkling little gems scattered abundantly across the land... I would smile when the clock stops at that very moment.

Till then. my phalanx of conundrums remains...


Cos there's something in the way you look at me.Its as if you are the missing piece