Today...

today, i dont know myself anymore.
today, i have lost all of my senses.
today, i realised i dont know who i am anymore.
today, i realised perhaps, i have changed.
today, i shy back into my shell and hide from who i am
today, i realised my soul is pulverized. like a disintegrated piece of old metal.
corroded and ugly.

I think i have turned into a horrendous beast.
I think i am lost. Lost in a crazy world.
I think i am crazy, not the world.
I don't know what i'm doing anymore.
I don't know who's real and who's not. I never knew.

I'd like to take shelter in my very own world, like a battlefield.
I'd like to take myself to another world.
I'd like to be in the world of that other person's eyes i look into.
I'd like to stop hating myself.
I'd like to stop hurting.
I'd like to stop deceiving myself.
I'd like to know something real. just something. Anything

God, i think i should stop leaving you text messages and talk to you instead.